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Relationship Milestones

Relationship milestones truly test your compatibility as a couple.  Every couple has their own list of those make-it-or-break-it moments, but there are some pretty universal ones. Here is a sample of our list:

Meeting the parents:

The first time I “met” Dan’s dad, Oscar, was via Skype. I was spending the summer in Lexington, and I just had my wisdom teeth removed. My face was very swollen and I was in pain, but of course I wanted to talk to Dan, who was in NYC at the time. We were Skyping with each other when Oscar stopped by Daniel’s room to ask him something, and decided to say hello to me as well. So our first “meeting” was with my face being twice its normal size, my hair in disarray, and my mouth barely mobile.

Taking a trip together

The first thing going through my head was “What if we get sick of spending so much time together?” Luckily, we didn’t – spending time together made it fly by all the faster. Being able to have fun and relax together is crucial, as is building fond memories.

Realizing you say “we” instead of “I”

 “What are we doing tonight?” – I don’t know how or when it happened, but when Dan asked me this one evening, as he had many evenings before, I realized that we were at that point in our relationship where we could both comfortably assume that we would be spending our time together. Decisions became joint decisions, tonight’s plans became our plan, and our lives became our life. 

First fight

I honestly do not remember what our first fight was about or when it happened, but I do remember that afterwards, I thought, “huh….I guess we can call that a fight.” It just didn’t feel like all the things that I associated with the word “fight” – it wasn’t rude, or cruel, or meant to hurt, or meant to be won. It was a discussion about our different views until we both felt understood.

Grocery shopping together

Was it romantic to go to the store together to buy milk, eggs, and apples? Honestly, it kind of was. It felt like we were playing house, and we learned so much about each other!

Getting sick for the first time

For me, the reaction to illness is a key determinant for the success of a relationship. Whatever the reaction is, from “I better stay away from you so I don’t get sick too” to “let me make you some tea,” it tells you if your partner will be there for you in the time of need. Caring for someone who is ill takes patience and understanding – it is an excellent time to show love with deeds, not just words. In fact, it is the most important time to support each other – when you don’t look as good and can’t do as much. I would imagine that whether your partner takes care of you when you come down with the flu is a great indicator of his ability to keep his wedding vows of loving you “in sickness and in health.”

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